Digging Up Dead Horses
I’m totally going to be talking about stuff I Shouldn’t. Like how I’m high right now, and how I am emotinally retarded. I know how I feel. I feel like I just want to say, you need to pack up, and move down here because I want to be with you. I’ve always wanted to be with you since that very first night, and when you left I left like the ice queen gave me a never ending winter. He was like my fucking small glimmer of spring. And I love spring. Spring is my favorite time of year, and he was the favorite person I’ve wanted to be with. I’ve tried dating other people. I’ve tried being fucked by other people. I don’t want to date or get fucked by anybody but him. That’s sad that I feel that way because he broke my heart and I cried over it then, and I might eventually cry over it now, but my heart was/is fragile. Hearing his voice again, made me realize how I felt. I guess I just forgot because I was trying to move on. I know how I feel about him. I feel the way I felt about him then, and I feel the same damn way! I must be really high because I just have no idea what I just said, but I’m too busy thinking that I don’t care. So dear diary, I want to be with him. AGAIN. This time though. I want to be number one. I want to be THE boyfriend. I WANT TO FUCKING be his life partner, but I want to go get married, and when and if we ever get married, I want a prenup that says if he ever breaks my heart, I get to cut off his balls and have an inpromptu US open in my back yard.
So diary. what should I do? Should I give him my heart with the chances that he might break it? Chris saw it was broken merchandise, Miguel thought it was too Ugly etch. etc. I cant even fucking EXEDERA right. WRITE? I don’t know.
I used to pretend I could see Ghostwriter when I was little.
I want to kiss him like that first time we kissed and it meant something.
THATS WHAT I WANT. I’m SOBER enough to know that. But getting a kiss is impossible.
I must go listen to true loves kiss from enchanted.
I must watch enchanted again, and sing the happy working song, to memorize for my JOB where my fucking retarded coworkers dont know how to do their ONE job task they assigned. JUST saying.
all right. I’m going to go stare at my phone and hope he calls like I did two years ago. I’m such a teenage giddy school girl.
The end.
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